Baby I'm still struggling
by CybrAngl
Summary: Derek is forced to battle the demons he never did away with. Can he handle this battle on his own? M/G please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

It was a cold November morning and the skies were overcast. Penelope woke up to the sound of the alarm clock and quickly turned over and shut it off. Hotch had given them a three day w/end to compensate for the long hours they had all worked during the last case. Penelope was glad it was finally over. All cases affected her one way or another, but the one's that had to do with children affected her the most. She could never understand how anyone could hurt an innocent child. She knew the team was extremely affected by this as well, especially Derek. The suspect in this case was abducting children and torturing them as well as sexually abusing them. The BAU had gotten the call when the 3rd child went missing and the first child was found dead. It took them almost a week to break the case and arrest John Grimly, the local youth group organizer. But in the time it took to get him, they had lost another child.

Penelope turned over and stared out her bedroom window. It was on days like this and after these kinds of cases that she questioned her job at the BAU. She'd always place things on her desk that helped her mask some of the horror she saw day to day. It wasn't just the cases her team took, but she would consult for many of the local police departments as well. The images she'd see across those screens were sometimes so gruesome she'd stay awake at night for fear of nightmares. It was the main reason she rarely left her office when her team was away. The BAU was called in on some of the worst cases in the nation and the information she received was sometimes too much to bare. She'd rather stay in the office where she felt safe and protected.

The team had arrived late the night before and she had spoken to all of them. When she spoke to Derek he sounded off kilter. She knew he was dealing with his own demons but she didn't want to pry. She knew he'd come to her if he needed her. He always did. She reached for the remote control and changed the channel until she found something she would be happy watching. She smiled when she came across a re-run of I Love Lucy. This is exactly what she needed. No thinking, no analyzing, just pure innocent entertainment. She made up her mind right there and then that today was going to be a lazy day. She'd stay in bed and watch TV all day.

CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM

Derek stared out his bedroom window. The day looked like he felt. Grey and grim. He'd tried to get some sleep but every time he managed to doze off he'd be awaked by the image of Carl's face in his dream. He thought he'd put all that behind him and had managed to finally put some closure on the ordeal. He had kept that secret for so long from everyone that truly mattered to him that when it finally came out, he felt relieved. He thought that no longer having to hide behind it was going to help him. He realized that wasn't the case. When he saw the body of the little boy it automatically gave him flashbacks of the unknown boy he helped bury and of Carl Buford.

He couldn't help but wonder if things would be different if he'd only spoken out against him. He closed his eyes and fought back the tears he felt brewing. He knew his family would have backed him up but he firmly believed that nobody else would have believed him. He also knew that he needed Carl to get where he wanted to go. Out of that hell and as far away from Carl as possible. At least that's what he believed back then. He struggled with the idea that he compromised his values just to get out and that because of that decision kids were hurt and kids died. He thought about James and his struggles. Derek firmly believed that he was responsible for James' pain. No he didn't think he was responsible, he knew he was and nothing anyone told him could change that. He'd had endless conversations with his Mom about this but he felt she was too close to the situation to see things from his perspective. She'd told him over and over to go and talk to someone, someone that could help him with sort through these feelings. He didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone about this. He kept things to himself. The less people know about you the better. The only person he ever shared anything personal with was Penelope and she was the last person he'd want to share this with. As it was he'd had a hard enough time looking at her when it was all over. He wondered what she thought about her hero now. Wondered how she viewed him now that she knew the truth. She never asked him about it, in fact she never pushed him to talk about it. The day they all arrived from Chicago all she did was hug him and tell him she'd missed him. Truth was the only person he'd wanted to be with after getting home was her. She was his breath of sunshine in all the darkness. But he was too embarrassed to face her so instead he avoided her at first.

He got up from bed and headed towards the kitchen. Sleep wasn't an option for him so he needed to get some coffee in his system in order to wake up. He needed to keep busy and not think. He'd go workout and do some running. That was always a good way for him to release pent up emotions. He'd figure out how to spend the rest of his day after that.

**Three hours later……..**

Penelope was forced to change her plans for a lazy day. Her stomach had started grumbling and there was nothing in the house to eat. She normally did her grocery shopping on Friday's after work. She had gotten up and showered and had decided that she would go to the market and plan instead for a lazy Friday night. She was even going to splurge on herself and buy some wine. As she walked towards the front door she turned to peek at her answering machine. She frowned when she saw there were no messages. She was a little concerned about Derek and was hoping that he had called while she was in the shower. As she walked towards her car, she decided to call him just to see what he was doing.

The call went straight to voicemail and she left him a message to call her back. She immediately called JJ.

"Hey Penelope I'm glad you called, I was just going to call you." JJ said.

"Hi JJ, I'm sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you've spoken to Derek at all?" Penelope asked.

"No I would have thought that you had though. He always calls you when he gets home." JJ said.

"He called me but he seemed a little off, ya know? Sort of ummm distant, off kilter." Penelope said.

"He was probably tired Pen, this last case had us working almost round the clock." JJ assured her.

"No JJ it's more than that. I know him, he wasn't himself. I know this case brought back some of those demons and he won't let anyone help him fight them. "Penelope said.

"Pen, I know how you feel about him, but this is one battle you have to let him fight on his own. " JJ said.

"JJ I don't want to fight the demons for him, I just need to know he's ok. He hasn't talked to anyone about this." Penelope said.

"Pen, you and him never discussed this? He's never opened up to you about any of this?" JJ said surprised.

"No JJ, he never approached me about it. I couldn't outright ask him. I figured he would in time." Penelope said defensively.

"Have you gone by his house to see if he's there?" JJ asked.

"Not yet, I will though. JJ if you hear from him please let me know." Penelope said.

"I will, you do the same." JJ said.

Penelope quickly did her shopping and loaded the car. She wanted to pass by Derek's house and see him. She could sense that something was wrong she just couldn't put her finger on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Derek walked into the house and took the leash off of Clooney. He had spent the last three hours playing Frisbee at the local park with Clooney and running the trails. He placed a fresh bowl of water in the kitchen for Clooney and filled up his food bowl. As he headed for the shower, he noticed he had messages on his machine. He opted to listen to them after his shower but as he walked into his bedroom he heard his cell phone buzzing. He looked at his message log and saw he'd missed two calls from Penelope and called her back.

"Hi angel, how are you doing this morning?" Penelope asked.

"I'm good baby and you?" Derek responded. Penelope sensed he was little guarded.

"Worried. See there's this really hot guy I know and I think that maybe he needs a friend right now but he's too stubborn to admit it." Penelope said.

"I'm fine baby." He said.

"So was it the fact I said hot guy or stubborn that clued you in to the fact I was talking about you?" she said with a slight giggle.

Derek laughed. "You need to stop worrying MOM." Derek said emphasizing the last word.

"Yea well ask me not to breath, it might be easier." She said sounding a little more serious.

"So what are you up to?" He asked trying to change the subject.

"Actually I just finished getting some shopping done and I was headed towards your house, I wanted to see if you were ok." She responded. "Now that I know you're fine though I'm just going home and getting back to the original plan of a lazy day. What about you?"

"I just got back from playing with Clooney and running. I don't have any plans though." He said.

"How would you like a home cooked meal, some wine, and a quiet evening watching old movies?" She asked.

"That sounds good; I'll see you around 6. I'll bring desert. " He said.

"See you then gorgeous." Penelope replied and hung up.

Derek jumped into the shower and made plans for some sort of rest until he had to go to Penelope's. He needed to sleep and he hoped the running he had done had exhausted him enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

**Later that evening………….**

Penelope had everything just about ready. She was excited about her evening with Derek. They always had a great time together. Sometimes they ended up in a deep conversation and without realizing the time, it would be morning. She loved those moments with him when they both opened up completely to each other and she got to learn something new about him. She always felt so much closer to him after one of their all nighters. She did one final check on all the fixings for dinner and made sure the table was set just right. Now all she had to do was shower and wait for her gorgeous profiler to arrive.

**7:30PM that evening …….. **

Penelope called Derek one more time and it went to voicemail. She was now starting to get worried. He was never late and always called her if he had to change plans. Something was definitely wrong. When her phone rang she quickly picked it up. "Derek?!" she practically yelled into the phone.

"Can I please speak to Ms Penelope Garcia?" The voice on the other end asked.

"This is Penelope, who's this?" Penelope asked.

"Ms. Garcia my name is Tom Bentley; I'm a doctor here at Potomac Hospital. We found your name on an emergency contact for a Mr. Derek Morgan." The doctor explained.

"What happened? Is he ok? Where is he? Why are you calling instead of him?" Penelope rambled on questions before the doctor interrupted her.

"Ms Garcia, Mr. Morgan was in an accident. He was brought in by paramedics. I'm sorry to say he's getting prepped for surgery at the moment."

"Surgery? What's wrong with him? Is he going to be ok?" Penelope asked with tears now rolling down her face.

"Ms. Garcia we're going to do the best we can but we do need for you to come down and sign some papers. He should be in surgery for about 5 hours." The doctor explained.

Penelope was speechless. She stood there with the phone to her ear trying to digest what the doctor was saying and not responding.

"Ms Garcia? Are you coming?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, yes I'll be right there." Penelope said and put down the phone. She was numb. She looked around the room as if trying to get a clue as to what she needed to do next. She tried to regroup and get her bearings. He needed her; she needed to get to the hospital. She grabbed her purse and keys and ran to her car. While driving she called JJ and told her what had happened. JJ said she would handle letting everyone else know and she'd meet Penelope at the hospital.

**Three hours later……**

They all sat in the waiting room waiting for news on the surgery. They'd been able to find out that he was on his motorcycle when he got into an accident. Derek had been thrown several feet and had sustained a serious head injury. He was unconscious when he was brought in. Penelope had been crying from the moment JJ walked in. She had managed to stay strong until then. JJ tried to comfort her but there was no consoling her. The doctors had told them it looked pretty bad and weren't sure he'd make it through.

"We need to call him Mom." JJ said softly to Penelope.

"I did. I called her as soon as I got here and spoke to the staff. She's on her way. I offered to have someone pick her up but she said she wanted everyone here with him and that she'd take a cab." Penelope said.

Hotch who had been sitting with Rossi overheard the conversation and went over to JJ and Penelope. "I can get an SUV to the airport to pick them up and have them brought here. Do you know what flight they'll be on?" Hotch asked.

Penelope nodded. "I have no idea we only spoke that one time when I broke the news." She said.

Rossi quickly came over and told them he'd have the passenger lists checked and he'd make the arrangements.

"I wish I could wake up and realize this was all just a bad dream." Penelope said as she broke down once again. "We were supposed to be having dinner and watching movies. I'm not supposed to be waiting to see whether or not he dies."

JJ wrapped her arm around Penelope as Emily walked over and knelt in front of her. Emily grabbed both of her hands and looked up at her. "I'm not going to pretend that I know how you feel. We all see how deep your feelings run for him and how deep his run for you. But you can't give up on him. He's going to need all your strength when he comes out of this, and he will come out of it. But you need to stay positive and you need to stay strong." Emily said in a soothing voice.

Penelope looked at Emily and wiped the tears from her face. "Em, what if he doesn't, what if…"

Emily quickly interrupted her and said "What if is not an option here. This is Derek we're talking about and he will prove these doctors wrong. But right now, we need to focus on staying positive."

Penelope nodded. Just then the doors to the waiting room opened and a man in scrubs walked in calling out for the family of Derek Morgan. They all stood and quickly walked over. "How is he?" Penelope quickly asked.

"He made it through the surgery just fine; it wasn't as bad as we first anticipated. We managed to remove a clot and we're all very surprised he doesn't have any broken bones although he does have bruises over most of his body. The next 24 hours are critical. He has a breathing tube and we're keeping him in an induced coma in order to help him heal. We'll be watching over him carefully to see how he progresses. We still can't tell if there was any damage. We won't know that for a few days. For now though he's stable all things considered." The doctor explained.

"Can I see him please?" Penelope asked.

"He'll be in recovery for a few hours and then he'll be taken to ICU. Once there you'll be able to visit him for 15 minutes at a time and only 1 person in the room. We need to keep him comfortable and it's important he doesn't get excited." The doctor said.

"Doctor? Is there a chance that he won't make it?" Penelope asked as tears filled her eyes.

"I'd love to tell you that he's out of the woods, but we simply don't know. It's too soon to say." He responded.

They all thanked him for the update and walked back to their seats. For now all they could do was wait.


	3. Chapter 3

Mrs. Morgan and her daughters walked into the waiting room and straight to the team. The last time they had met the team was in Chicago when Derek had been arrested. Sarah was the first to speak up and inquire about Derek.

"He got through the surgery but the doctors are cautious about the outcome." Hotch said.

"Can we see him?" Fran said.

"He's still in recovery, but they should be placing him in ICU soon. They said he can have visitors but only one at a time and for only 15 minutes. It's important to keep him calm. He can't get excited." JJ said.

"How did this happen?" Fran asked.

JJ went on to explain what little they knew about the accident. The final police report still hadn't been filed but Hotch promised to get a copy as soon as it was available.

"Was anyone else hurt?" Fran asked.

"No, the woman in the SUV was ok but very shaken up. She came by earlier to see how Derek was doing and asked that we please update her on his condition." JJ replied.

Fran nodded. She looked around the room and couldn't help but feel a certain amount of comfort in the knowledge that her son had so many people that cared for him. She noticed the beautiful blonde standing with Emily in the corner and walked over to her.

"You must be Penelope." Fran said as she extended her hand.

Penelope shook Fran's hand and nodded. "Mrs. Morgan, I'm so sorry that we have to meet under these circumstances."

"It seems that every time I meet someone from Derek's team, it's under bad circumstances. I've wanted to meet you for some time now. I've asked Derek to bring you along on one his trips to Chicago. He talks about you all the time. He tells me how you take care of him and I wanted to thank you. "Fran said.

The thought of that brought a slight smile to Penelope's face. "He talks about me?" She asked

"Does that surprise you?" Fran asked.

Before Penelope could answer, a nurse walked into the waiting room calling out for the Morgan family. They all turned around when she announced that had been taken to ICU. Fran was the first to go in followed by Sarah and then Desiree. The three women hugged each other and cried in the waiting room. They weren't used to seeing Derek so vulnerable and they had a hard time with it. The team opted not to go in. They felt this was a very private moment for Derek and his family and felt it would be an intrusion. The visiting time was so limited they wanted to make sure the family was able to make full use of it.

Penelope had positioned herself in the corner from the moment they walked into the ICU waiting room and had been writing. When she finally finished, she folded up a piece of paper and placed an angel pin against it. She walked over to Fran and handed both items to her.

"Mrs. Morgan, could I ask you to please place this next to Derek when you go in? I know he doesn't have pockets but I'm sure it'll be ok anyway." She said.

Fran looked at Penelope curiously. "Aren't you going in?" She asked.

Penelope nodded. "They only allow one visitor for 15 minutes; I think that should be his family." She said.

"Penelope, you are his family. You all are and I'm sure he'd want to see you." Fran said as she grabbed Penelope's hand. "Why don't you and I go for a little walk? They won't let us in for another 45 minutes and I think we can both use from fresh air." Fran said and she guided Penelope to the door and removed any possibility of her saying no.

Once outside, Fran wrapped her arm around Penelope's as they walked the hospital grounds. She talked to Penelope about Derek and about the numerous conversations that they'd had. She confided in Penelope about his struggles and his inability to talk to anyone about them.

"Mrs. Morgan, why are you telling me this?" Penelope asked as she stopped walking and turned to face Fran.

"Penelope, I love my son. I don't think there's a better man out there than him. But I do see his weaknesses and one of them is his lack of trust. I know he speaks to you and I know he tells you everything. He's told me so. But there's one thing he can't bring himself to discuss with you and that's his ordeal with Carl. My son struggles with shame and guilt." Fran said.

"He has nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about, he was a child." Penelope said.

"He doesn't see it that way but more importantly, I think his fear is how you'll see it." Fran explained.

"Me? I 'm afraid I don't understand." Penelope said.

"I believe that he thinks you'll see him as less than what he is. You asked me earlier why I was telling you all this. I'm telling you because I believe my son is in love with you and I believe you're in love with him too." Fran said.

"Mrs. Morgan, you have this all wrong, Derek and I are friends." Penelope said.

"I think you're both hiding behind that shield because it's safer than taking the risk." Fran said.

Penelope lowered her head as tears began to form. She was in love with Derek and had been for a long time. But she wasn't the type of girl that Derek went for. Penelope looked at Fran as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "You said you knew you're son's weaknesses you only mentioned one." Penelope said.

"Penelope my son doesn't trust anyone, he doesn't open up to anyone, and he doesn't give unconditionally because he's afraid of what'll be returned. He doesn't know how to relax around anyone and be himself, and yet all of these things he does with you. You want to know what his biggest weakness is." Fran asked but continued before Penelope could answer. "His biggest weakness is his baby girl." Fran said with a smile.

Those two words made her stomach jump. _How did she know that's what he called her? Could it be that Fran was right? Could Derek really have feelings for her? _Penelope looked at Fran and hesitated before finally admitting what Fran already knew. "I do love him. I love him more than he'll ever know."

"Penelope, I'd appreciate it if we could keep this between us. I don't think Derek would appreciate his mom meddling in his personal life. I normally wouldn't say anything but I can see that you're both struggling with this." Fran said.

"Mrs. Morgan I won't say a word." Penelope said with a smile. "Can you tell me something?"

"Please, call me Fran and I'll try." She said.

"Fran, thank you. How did you know what he called me?" Penelope asked.

"Because when he talks about you, and he does that a lot, that's what he calls you. He always refers to you and his baby girl. Now let's head back, we should be able to go in and see him soon." She said as she handed Penelope the Angel pin and the folded up paper. "I believe you'll be placing this near him."

Penelope nodded and smiled. Her mind was racing with the thoughts about his conversations with his mom. _He talked about HER. He mentioned HER. He called her his baby girl!! _ Penelope grabbed the angel and placed it in her pocket as they headed back to the waiting room arm in arm and waited for the nurse to allow them another visit.


	4. Chapter 4

Penelope walked down the corridor towards Derek's room. Her mind was still racing after the conversation she'd had with his mom. She had to admit, it felt nice to talk to someone about her feelings for him. She didn't have her own mother around and talking to Fran was comforting. It made her miss her mom that much more today. She knew that Derek and his mother were very close and she could see why. Fran was easy to talk to.

When she walked into the room Penelope froze. She looked around and saw so many machines and all of them hooked up to Derek. She could hear the beeps of the monitors and the Respirator machine pumping his lungs with air. A nurse walked in behind her and noticed her shocked state. She placed a hand on Penelope's arm and gently said "he's doing ok. It looks a lot more intimidating than it really is. Come here, I'll show you." She said and she gently guided Penelope towards the monitors.

The nurse pointed out how his vitals were good and steady. She explained what each of the graphs and numbers meant. She then turned to Penelope and pointed out the respirator. "He's breathing on his own; this is just here to help him." She reassured her.

"Thank you." Penelope said and smiled.

"Talk to him just like you would any other day, he can hear you." The nurse told her and with that she walked away.

Penelope walked over to Derek's bed and grabbed his hand. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at him. For the first time he looked so vulnerable. He was the strong one on the team. He was invincible in her eyes. He was her Dark Knight. She gently caressed the bruises on his arm as if trying to erase them and ease his pain. "Handsome, you need to fight. I know you can do this." She whispered.

She placed her finger on his lips and traced the outline before leaning in to him and placing a kiss on his lips. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she whispered "Derek please don't leave me I need you." She said as she began to sob uncontrollably. She reached into her pocket and placed the folded up paper and the angel pin on his pillow then looked up as if to the heavens and said "Mommy, please help him. Please bring him back to me. We're not done yet. We haven't even started but I know if he goes away I won't be able to breathe. Mommy please, please bring him back to me." Penelope lowered her head against his chest and closed her eyes. She could hear his heart beating and the rhythmic sound soothed her.

"I love you" she said in a whisper and gently got up. "I have to go handsome, you're mom and sisters want to come in too but I'll be right outside." She said as she leaned in once again to kiss him.

They were all gathered together waiting for her return and as she walked into the room Fran walked over to her. "I spoke to the nurse and she told me he was doing well. She said he was stable." Penelope said to Fran.

"My son is stubborn. I know he'll be fine." Fran said with a smile.

Fran and her daughters each visited with Derek. Desiree seemed to be the one that took it the hardest upon first seeing him. Like Penelope, she was used to the strong willed invincible Derek. As a little girl her brother was always there to protect her and help her. When she returned to the visiting room, she walked directly to her mother and broke down.

"They won't be allowing anyone else in until the morning." Emily said. "They have all the contact numbers and promised to contact us if there's any change.

"We should all go and get some rest. There's nothing we can do here." Fran said.

"I'd like to stay. I don't want to leave him." Penelope said.

JJ turned to Penelope and grabbed her hands. "Honey, there's nothing you can do here and you're going to need you're rest if you want to be there for him when he wakes up."

"JJ what if he wakes up during the night or what if he has a nightmare? I need to be here." Penelope said adamantly.

"Honey, he's in an induced coma and will be until the doctors feels they can bring him out of it safely. You need to rest." JJ said.

"Penelope, JJ's right. Why don't you come with the girls and me and stay at Derek's. We can come together in the morning." Fran said.

Penelope knew she was going to lose this battle. She saw the look of determination on everyone and gave in.

**Back at Derek's house……**

As soon as Penelope unlocked the front door, Clooney came running to her. Penelope bent down to pet the overgrown puppy and Sarah and Desiree couldn't help but laugh at the fact that his tail was wagging so hard his butt was moving along with it.

"He seems very taken by you." Des remarked.

"I take care of him when Derek's away on a case so he's used to me coming by to feed him. Sometimes I even take him home with me." Penelope said.

"Wait, you two share the dog?" Sarah asked.

Penelope giggled. "We don't share him. He's Derek's dog but I spoil him." Penelope said.

Penelope started turning on lights and went directly into the kitchen to get food for Clooney. "Do you guys want something to drink?" Penelope asked.

They all looked at each other and nodded. "We're ok." Sarah said out loud.

"Let me show you where the rooms are so you can get comfortable." Penelope said as she led them to the rooms. She opened up Derek's room first. "Fran this is Derek's room." Penelope pointed out as she continued on to the rooms down the hall and opened up the doors. "Sarah, Desi, these are the guest rooms."

"Where are you going to sleep Penelope?" Sarah asked

"She's going to sleep in Derek's room. You and Desi can take that room and I'll take this one." Fran said.

"Oh I can't. I'll be fine on the couch." Penelope said.

"I won't hear of it. You will sleep in Derek's room. We'll be fine in the other rooms." Fran insisted.

Desi and Sarah looked at each other with a perplexed look. "There's obviously something here we're missing." Sarah whispered to Desi.

Desi nodded.

It was late and they wanted to get an early start to the day. They all retired to their rooms and settled in. Penelope sat on Derek's bed for a while trying to gain the energy she needed to shower. It had been a long day and it didn't look like her days were going to get any shorter. She hated having to leave him there. She told him she'd be right outside but she knew that arguing with them wasn't going to change things. She didn't have a choice. She realized the sooner she got to sleep the sooner she'd be able to go back.

After her shower she grabbed one of Derek's t-shirts from his draw and put it on. If she couldn't be there with him, then she'd at least be able to smell him on her. She opened the door so that Clooney could come to the room if he wanted to. He always slept at Derek's feet and she was sure he missed Derek too.

Penelope got into bed and covered herself. She grabbed one of the pillows so she could hug it. His scent was strong on the pillow and she closed her eyes and imagined he was right there with her.


	5. Chapter 5

Early the next morning, Fran and Penelope headed towards the hospital. Sarah and Desi stayed behind to straighten up and would meet them at the hospital after. They were both dying to discuss the things they had noticed about Penelope and Derek.

"You can tell she's been here a lot because she's very familiar with this house. She knows where everything is." Sarah said.

"Did you notice she was wearing different clothes? She didn't bring a bag with her so those clothes were in his closet AND she has a key." Desi said.

"Do you think Mom knows anything?" Sarah said.

"What doesn't mom know? Come on her and Derek talk all the time." Desi reminded her.

"What do you think about her? You think they're together?" Sarah asked.

Desi shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know but I do know one thing, I like her!" She said.

Sarah smiled. "Yea, me too. I just hope we're right. I'd like to see him settle down."

**Over at the hospital……**

Fran had gone in to see Derek first. Penelope decided she was going to go to the nurses' station to see if she could get information on how he'd spent the night. At this point, sitting in the waiting room was just going to drive her batty. When she arrived, the nurse that had helped her the night before was still there and she approached her to ask about Derek.

"Good Morning, can you tell me how he spent the night?" Penelope asked.

"He did very well. The doctor is in there now with him if you'd like to talk to him." The nurse said.

"His mom is in there now, I'm sure she'll let me know." Penelope responded.

"It's ok if you want to go in there as well; the doctor isn't going to mind." She said

Penelope thought it best to wait. She didn't want to interfere but just then, Fran peeked out the door and asked her to come into the room.

"Dr. Bentley, this is Penelope Garcia." Fran said as she introduced them.

"Ms. Garcia, yes we've met." The extended his hand to shake Penelope's.

"Hi Dr. Bentley, please tell me, how is Derek doing?" Penelope asked.

"As I've explained to Mrs. Morgan, he's doing extraordinarily well. There's no swelling and he's breathing completely on his own. It's a good thing he's in such great shape or this could have turned out completely different. I'll be taking him off the medication that's keeping him asleep, but I have to take him off slowly. We'll see how he reacts and hopefully he'll wake up soon. Once he wakes up, we'll be able to make some further determinations. "Dr. Bentley said.

Fran and Penelope hugged each other. Finally some good news.

"Dr. Bentley, is he umm out of the woods?" Penelope asked.

"I would say that Mr. Morgan is well on his way to recovery. I caution you both though; a lot depends on when he wakes up." He said.

"Thank you doctor." They both said.

Penelope grabbed her cell and called JJ. She needed to get her an update and she wanted to let the team know the good news.

"JJ, we just talked to the doctor, he said Derek is doing well. He thinks that Derek might be out of the woods." Penelope told her.

"Pen that's wonderful news. Have you been able to see him yet?" JJ asked

"For a little while, I'm in the waiting room now with his family. JJ they are all so wonderful." Penelope gushed.

"Now we know where he gets it from don't we?" JJ said.

"JJ, do you think you can ask Hotch if I can take a few personal days?" Penelope said.

"Hotch says that his orders are firm. You are to stay with Derek until further notice." JJ told her. "And believe it or not, he even smiled when he said that!"

Penelope smiled. "Remind me to hug him when I see him next time." She said.

"You're on your own there. A smile AND a hug in the same week? I'd be scared." JJ said laughing.

Penelope and Fran spent the rest of the day at the hospital. They were joined by Sarah and Desi an hour later and all of them took turns going in to see Derek. You could see a different expression on their faces now that they knew he was doing better. They spend the day talking about Derek and filling Penelope in on some of the things she didn't know about him. They made fun of his cooking skills and laughed till tears rolled down their cheeks about the incident with the fire department. Finally Sarah got the nerve to ask her more personal questions.

"So tell us, are you and Derek dating?" Sarah blurted out.

The question took Penelope by surprise and she blushed. "No we're just good friends." She said but looked over at Fran as if asking for help.

"Sarah! You know that's none of our business." Fran said sternly.

"What? It's not like we're gonna tell him anything. Besides, we like the idea of him settling down." Sarah said.

"It's ok. I don't mind the questions. I just don't think I'll have the answers you're looking for. Not yet anyway." Penelope said with a grin.

"I knew it!!!" Desi shouted.

Fran started to laugh at Desi's vocal excitement and shh'd her daughter. "You might have known, but Penelope and Derek haven't spoken about it so you can't say a word." Fran said.

The four of them grew closer as the day went on and before they had realized it, between the chats and the visits to Derek, it was nighttime. They all took one last turn going in to visit Derek. Penelope went in last; it was Fran's suggestion that hers be the last voice he heard for the night.

Penelope walked over to Derek and grabbed his hand, gently caressing it. "Hey there Angel I'm not sure if you can hear me or not, but I wanted to tell you that you have a wonderful family. There is nothing they wouldn't do for you. Your mom is truly amazing. She's so warm and loving and she put me at ease almost immediately. I can't say enough about her and your sisters are so much fun. I can see why you're all so close. We're going to go home for the night angel but we'll be back in the morning. Don't worry, Hotch gave me strict orders to stay until you're ok. JJ even said he smiled when he said that. Can you believe that? Hotch smiled!" She leaned into him and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and then caresses his face softly. "Sleep well angel." She said as she turned to walk away.

"Baby girl?" He said with a raspy voice.

Penelope quickly turned back. Was she hearing things? "Derek?"

"Baby don't go." He said.

"Oh my god Derek." She said and broke down in tears. "Baby let me get the nurse."

"No wait. What happened?" He asked

She grabbed his hand and leaned into him and spoke softly as she explained to him what had happened. "Do you remember any of that?" She asked.

"Vaguely. Did I hurt anyone?" He asked.

Penelope smiled. It was so like him to worry about others. "No the only person that was hurt is you. Now please let me get the nurse and call your family, they are right outside." She said.

Penelope ran to the nurses' station and updated them on Derek's state and then she quickly ran to get Fran and the girls. They all waited outside of his room while the nurse checked on him until they were given clearance to go in.

"He seems to be responding well, but please do not allow him to get excited. I'm going to call the doctor and let him know.

Once inside the room, they all gathered around his bed and enjoyed the fact that he was awake. They counted their blessings and told him how much they loved him and how happy they were he was ok. Penelope started to walk towards the window when Derek noticed and said "Hey Baby, where you going?"

"I'm not leaving handsome, just giving credit where credit is due." She said and she winked at him.

She reached the window and looked up. "Thanks Mommy, I think I owe you."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't normally write general Thank You notes but I tried to send out messages this morning and I kept receiving an error on the server. I did want you all to know that I truly appreciate your reviews and that they don't go un-noticed. Hopefully I'll be able to send you all a personal note if fanfiction's system starts working ******

**One Week Later……**

Derek continued to improve and had been moved to a private room. His improvement was such that the Doctor had promised he'd sign his release papers that night. The bruises were beginning to fade away and his face was no longer swollen. The bandage on his head was now a small gauze pad that covered the incision and he was allowed to walk around the corridors as long as someone was with him. Sarah and Desi had returned to Chicago with plans of alternating trips to Virginia so Derek could be taken care of. Fran would be returning home as well but not before trying to convince her son to go with her.

"Mom, you know I can't go. The doctor has me doing follow ups. There is no way he'll approve travel." He said.

"I don't like the idea of you being alone at that house. You need to be taken care of." Fran protested.

"I'm going to fine. I don't see why you and the girls need to go out of your way. "Derek replied.

"The doctor was very firm on his instructions Derek. You are NOT to over exert yourself. You have to rest and under no uncertain terms are you to drive." Fran reminded him.

"Don't you worry Fran; he will be following the doctor's orders to the tee. I'll move in with him until the doctor clears him." Penelope said as she walked into the room.

Derek pointed at both of them alternating between his mom and Penelope and said "You two are no longer allowed to play together." And he grinned.

She walked over to Fran and hugged her hello then walked over to Derek and kissed his forehead. "How are you feeling gorgeous?" She asked.

"Corralled" he said with a smile.

"Stick around, it gets better." She said and winked.

"Like I have a choice." He said raising his eyebrows.

"Ohhh and he learns quickly too!" Penelope said sarcastically and smiled.

"You two are exhausting! This back and forth and back and forth. I always feel like I'm watching a tennis match with you two!" Fran said giggling. "I'm going to run downstairs for a few minutes and get some coffee would you two like some?" She asked.

"I'm ok but thank you." Penelope said.

"No thanks mom but I'll take a beer if they have one." He said chuckling.

"Yea, ok I'll see what I can do." Fran said as she walked out the door.

As soon as his Mom had walked out, Derek patted the mattress on his bed inviting Penelope to sit. She eagerly took his invite and sat down next to him.

"Sweetness seriously, how do you feel today?" She asked concern written on her face.

"Doll face I'm fine. You need to stop worrying I'm not going to break you know." He said grabbing her hand and gently rubbing it with his thumb.

"Ask me not to breathe baby, you might have more success." She said seriously.

"Baby, are you sure about staying at my place? I don't want to be a burden on anyone." Derek said.

Penelope glared at him and didn't respond.

"Ok ok, I surrender." He said as he flashed her his million dollar smile.

"You could never be a burden. I want to take care of you." She said.

"What about the office?" He asked.

"I worked it out with Hotch already. I can do most of my work from home I just have to go in for briefings." She said.

"They've been calling me all day. I didn't realize just how much I missed all that." He said.

"They really miss you. Hotch refused a temp because he said integrating into a team would take longer than the time you'd be out. Truth is I don't think he wanted to have anyone there with the title of Morgan replacement." Penelope said.

"I can't wait to get to work. I'd even be happy with a desk job for now." He said.

"I know you're eager but that won't happen for a little while so you better get used to it." She said with a stern voice.

"Yes Ma'am." He said.

"I think I'm going to like submissive Derek." She said giggling.

He cocked his head sideways and raised his eyebrow, she knew the minute he produced that grin that she had set herself up for one of his lines.

"Mmm I can see you in a nice dominatrix outfit Pen. Very becoming." He said.

"That's Mistress Pen, thank you very much." She said as they both laughed.

Fran walked in to find them both laughing. They were in their own world because neither of them noticed she had returned. That seemed to be the norm with these two she thought. They would start their banter and didn't matter who else was around, they pretty much locked the world out. She smiled as she watched them. She noticed the little things between them that were obvious to everyone else but them. How they had constant contact with each other as they spoke whether it was holding hands or soft caresses. She'd even noticed her son occasionally reaching for her hair just to place it behind her ear or how Penelope would wipe off his shoulder as if removing the spec k of dust that nonexistent. . She liked the thought of them as a couple. She knew they were right for each other. Now if only they'd figure that out themselves. Fran backed out of the room before being noticed. _"I'll just give them a little more time."_ She thought to herself.

Derek grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand and held her hand to his lips. They looked into each other's eyes and held a comfortable silence between them until Penelope noticed the angel pin was gone. "Baby, where's the angel?" She asked.

"Right in front of me." He said without even thinking.

Penelope smiled.

"I love it by the way. I keep her in my pocket now. I believe she's helping me sleep better." He said.

"Have you been having trouble sleeping?" She asked concerned.

"Just a little. It's not important." He said shrugging it off.

"It's important to me Derek. What dreams are you having?" She asked.

"Same one's I always have." He said his voice becoming a bit more somber. He pulled the angel out of his pocket, still pinned to the folded up paper and looked at it as if examining it for the very first time. "I think she's helping me. She's been keeping them at bay." He said, still staring at the pin.

"Derek, I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe you should see someone about this. Someone that you can talk to." Penelope said.

"Baby you know I don't like to talk about it." He said but she quickly interrupted him.

"I know you don't but this can be someone that nobody knows. Someone you can speak freely to. Someone that will walk you through what you feel and help you find a balance. Sometimes we think we have a handle on things but we don't and we don't deal with it, it can run away from us." She said.

"What if I promise to think about it?" He asked

"Let's make a deal, I won't press you on it if you promise to let me in when it gets bad." She said.

"If I'm struggling, I'll tell you." He said.

"Deal." She said and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "On that note sugar I'm going to head out before I get kicked out."

Fran walked into the room just as Penelope stood up. "I hate to break this up but the nurse said visiting hours are over." She said.

"I was just saying goodnight." Penelope said.

Fran walked over to her son and leaned in to give him a good night kiss. "Good night honey, may the angels watch you and keep you." She whispered.

Derek looked over at Penelope and smiled. He turned to his Mom and said "My angel always does."


	7. Chapter 7

**A Month Later…….**

Derek had now had 4 follow up visits with Dr. Bentley. With each visit came a reduction in medication and the removal of a restriction. After his 4th visit he was finally off all of the medication that he had been taking, a fact that made him happy since he hated taking pills. He was allowed to go for longer walks and do some minor exercises but he still wasn't allowed to lift any weights, drive or go back to work. All in all his recovery was going much faster than the doctors had originally anticipated and if all things continued, he could be back at work as soon as 2 weeks.

His nightmares however were a whole other story. They were happening more often and they were much more vivid and intense. Every night Penelope would hear him in his sleep and have to gently wake him up from the hell he was visiting. She would hold him and caress him to calm him down and she wouldn't leave him until she was sure he was sound asleep and resting peacefully. He knew it was taking a toll on her and this killed him. She was barely getting any sleep at night because she would spend most of the night making sure he slept well. He wanted so much to be able to control them and keep them at bay, but his efforts were fruitless.

Penelope had taken a little "me" time at Derek's insistence. Hotch had given them a few days off after their last case and Derek wanted Penelope to take some time to herself. She had stuck by him constantly for the past month and he figured she probably needed the break. He had surprised her with a gift card for the local spa. He figured if he handed her something that was already paid for, she wouldn't be able to refuse it. She'd been gone for about 4 hours but had already called him 7 times. He had to admit though, he missed her already.

That was another problem he had to face. He'd grown accustomed to having Penelope with him in fact he loved having her around. With his recovery coming along he knew that their time together was coming to a close. He had insisted that his Mom and Sisters hold off on the w/end trips with the excuse that he'd rather have them all their for Thanksgiving, truth is though, he didn't want to share his time with Penelope. He knew that it was selfish but that too was something he just couldn't control no more than he could control his feelings for his baby girl.

Penelope walked out of the spa feeling like a new person. She was glad she had taken Derek's advice or actually _"order"_ to take a "me" day. She had gotten the full treatment. They did her hands and feet, they'd given her a full facial and wax treatment, a full body massage after a long soak with aromatherapy oils. She'd even gotten her hair done. She only had them trim the ends though because she knew Derek liked her hair long. She had wanted to celebrate the great news about his recovery and had opted to pick up some dinner and even get him some beer. Now that he was off the medication she figured he was allowed to celebrate. She had pre-ordered at his favorite restaurant which happened to have a liquor store right next door. It was perfect, she'd have everything in less than 15 minutes and she'd be headed home to surprise him.

Derek greeted her at the door with a huge smile. "Baby, what's all this?" He asked.

"We're going to celebrate your recovery. I ordered your favorite meal and I even got you some beer." She said

"YOU are truly a Goddess." He said smiling as he took the packages from her hand.

"You only say that because it's true." She said grinning.

Derek set the table while Penelope got the food ready. She had changed into one of Derek's t-shirts and the visual was driving him wild. After dinner they picked up quickly and headed to the living room to watch a movie. This had become nightly ritual for them. They'd cuddle on the couch with a blanket and watch a movie until one of them was too exhausted to continue. Tonight it was Derek's turn to pick a movie and he picked a scary one, even though she wasn't into scary movies she didn't seem to mind watching them with him. They were always the perfect excuse for major cuddling. There was absolutely no better feeling in the world than to be cuddled against her chocolate god with his arms around her and her head against his chest.

They had both fallen asleep halfway through the movie but like clockwork at 2am Penelope was awakened by Derek's stirrings. He moaned in his sleep as if he was pain and soon after he'd yell. Penelope gently caressed his chest as she softly called his name, trying to bring him back to her and out of the dark place he would visit every night. His breathing was heavy and his body would jerk. She'd repeat his name until finally she'd manage to wake him.

"Hey handsome, I'm right here baby, its ok you're safe." She said gently.

Derek let out a deep sigh. "Baby I'm so sorry I know this is getting old." He said.

"Shhh no apologies Angel." She said as she tenderly caressed his face. "Was it the same dream?"

"It never changes just gets more detailed." He said. "It always starts with me playing catch with my Dad. We're in a field and he throws the ball but I miss and run after it. When I get to the end of the field there are all these trees and I'm looking around but I can't find it. I call him and ask him to help but he just stands there looking at me and when I turn around I see and look back down at the ground, I see a pair of lifeless eyes staring back at me. I yell back at my Dad but he doesn't answer. Then I look back and I see Carl standing next to my old man. Carl starts walking towards me and my Dad starts to walk away. I scream for him but he doesn't even turn around. Next thing I know I'm in that cabin and I'm surrounded by all these young kids and the only one I recognize is James. They all start walking towards me but they all have that same lifeless look in their eyes. They blame me, I can tell and I try to run but there's nowhere to go. I start to feel myself being pulled apart and I can feel the pain as Carl grabs me and then I wake up, or I should say you wake me up."

Penelope could see the anguish in his face and she wanted more than anything to take that away. She wanted to make things right for him but she knew she couldn't. Instead she cupped his face with her hand and looked into his eyes. "I wish I could make it all go away." She said

He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes. He knew right there and then that this wasn't going to go away. He leaned into her and placed his forehead on hers as his hands grabbed her face. "Baby, I'm struggling." He said as he finally allowed his emotions to release and his eyes filled with tears.

Penelope wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her. "Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?"

"All I need right now is you." He said.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetness." She said as she squeezed him tighter to her.

"I want to believe that, no actually I need to believe that." He said.

"Baby, you said they blame you, what do they say in your dream?" Penelope asks.

"They don't have to say anything, I just feel it." He says.

Just then she realized. She pulled back to look at him and said "You don't blame yourself for what Carl did do you?"

"If I had spoken up sooner, those boys would be alive today. I caused James' pain by keeping silent." He said.

"Angel, you were a little boy. This isn't your fault. You didn't cause any of this. Carl's the one that's responsible. If anything it was you that helped stop him." She said determined to make him listen.

"Too little too late they say." He responded as he quickly pushed her away from him and stood up. "I'm not the person you think I am." He said his voice cracking as he spoke.

Penelope stood up and walked over to him. Her anger beginning to build. Not at him, but at the circumstances behind everything that was making him doubt himself. "Let me tell you exactly WHO Derek Morgan is because you two obviously haven't met. The Derek Morgan I know has a huge heart. He fights for the underdog and protects those that can't protect themselves. He'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it and wouldn't think twice about it. The Derek Morgan I know puts his own life on the line to save the lives of those he doesn't even know without expecting so much as a thank you at the end of the day. He places himself in danger so that a young genius he's taken under his wing doesn't have to. If truth be told, I believe the real reason you did what you did is because in your mind, as long as Carl was hurting you he couldn't hurt anyone else. "Penelope got close enough to Derek and stood toe to toe; she grabbed his chin with her hand and forced him to look at her. "If you really want to know who Derek Morgan is, then look at me and see him through my eyes."

Derek stood there silent, his eyes filled with tears. He'd told her the truth and she was still there, she still believed in him. He reached out for her and she wrapped herself around him holding him close.

"I'm making that phone call tomorrow and you're going to go talk to someone. You need to let someone help you. " She said.

"I swear baby I don't know what I did to deserve you, but whatever it was, I'd do it over and over."


	8. Chapter 8

**One Year later……**

Derek sat back on the couch and watched the chaos around him. His mother was busy making sure the turkey looked just right while his sisters took care of the side dishes and his baby girl prepared dessert. It surprised him a bit just how quickly his family had taken to Penelope and vice versa. His sister Sarah especially surprised him as she had always been very critical of anyone he dated and yet she seemed the closest to his baby girl. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he watched them all work around each other. All of his favorite women were together under one roof, life was perfect. Well almost perfect, but he was hoping that after tonight it would all be complete.

Derek's life had pretty much been a roller coaster for the past year. Penelope had handed him a list of doctors a year ago that she had scrutinized, researched, investigated and finally approved of for him to go see. She refused to accompany him to any of them claiming that he needed to feel comfortable with his choice and that it was important that nobody else had any knowledge of them. Her reasoning made sense _"if nobody knows who you're going to and they don't know them personally, you're going to be more comfortable with them and in the long will open up more."_ She had told him and she was right.

He had finally settled on Dr. Elizabeth Cummings and his sessions with her had proven to be very fruitful. They touched various areas of his life and he felt comfortable enough with her to dig deep inside himself for answers and understanding. After nearly a year his nightmares had subsided. He no longer felt anger towards his father, a feeling he didn't even realize existed until a short time ago. He realized his dream was never about Carl, but instead about feeling abandoned by a father he loved dearly and missed. A father he firmly believes would have protected him and didn't, not because he didn't want to, but because circumstances took him away. The memories of a 10 year old are buried deep in our subconscious and we never realize just how much they affect us. Ten year old Derek perceived his father's death as abandonment, but 35 year old Derek now realizes his father didn't leave him because he wanted to, but instead was taken away tragically. It was this realization that finally changed how he felt. He was no longer angry at his father but instead grieved his loss. After 25 years he was finally able to say goodbye to the man he loved and turn the page to a chapter in his life that had ultimately made him who he was today.

He was still working on his trust issues but that was something the doctor had told him would take time and effort and more importantly some blind faith. Although he was still a firm believer that trust wasn't just given away but earned, he was more willing to allow others to try and earn it. He noticed small changes in how he went about things now but more importantly, those around him noticed them as well.

The biggest change for him came in the form of his relationship with Penelope. He no longer lived with the fear that he might lose her. She had been there for some of his darkest moments and with every turn, she was always there. He opened up to her in ways he never imagined he would and she reciprocated. They grew closer over the past year; something he didn't think was possible considering just how close they'd always been. He had wanted to tell her he loved her so many times during the past year, but he was reluctant to get into a relationship until he had dealt with all of his issues. Relationships were hard enough, relationships at the BAU was damned near impossible. He didn't want to start something and bring any extra baggage with him. And then of course there was that tiny little thing that held him back; he didn't really know how she felt about him.

The dinner table had been set. Penelope had decorated the table with a huge cornucopia centerpiece filled with tiny rolls of bread. She had placed a candle at either side that sat inside tiny pumpkins and the placemats were leaf shaped mats in autumn colors she had made. Off to the side was the carving table and Derek was busy carving the turkey as they brought out the food and placed it on the table. They waited for Derek to finish carving before they all sat down. Fran sat at one end of the table and Derek settled at the other. Desi and Sarah both sat together and Penelope sat opposite them closest to Derek.

"Penelope, we have a tradition at the Morgan household for Thanksgiving. Instead of saying a prayer of thanks, where we go around the table and each person says what they're grateful for. I hope that's ok?" Fran said.

"That's a beautiful idea, of course it's ok." Penelope said and smiled.

Fran was the first to begin followed by Desi and then Sarah. When it was Derek's turn he looked around the table and stopped when his eyes met Penelope's. "Hold that thought everyone, what I have to say depends on a few things." He said and quickly dashed out of the dining room and towards his room.

They all looked at each other unsure of what was going on until he reappeared with a big box in his hand. He walked towards Penelope and handed it to her. She grabbed it and looked up at him, confusion written all over her face. "What's this?" She asked.

"You'll have to open it and find out." He said. He flashed her a smile but everyone could tell he was nervous.

Penelope looked at the box in her hand. It was a big white box with a pink ribbon around it. She slowly released the bow and lifted the lid. She gasped when she realized what was inside. Her eyes began to fill with tears and all she could manage to say was his name.

Derek smiled. "Do you like it baby girl?" He asked already knowing the answer by the look on her face.

"What is it?" Sarah asked excitedly.

Penelope lifted a beautiful frame from the box. The border of the frame was white lacquer with tiny crystals embedded on the edge. It held together two pieces of glass that encased a wrinkled piece of paper with writing on it. Off to the side of that paper was a bubble created to hold in place an angel pin.

"I can't believe you did this." Penelope said still in awe.

"No baby, I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner." He said.

"Ok, you two care to fill us in? What is that?" Desi asked.

"A few years ago I had noticed a pin that Penelope was wearing, it had caught my attention because it wasn't like the normal stuff she usually wears and I commented on it. She told me it had been her mother's pin and it had belonged to mother's mother before that. It was the last thing she had gotten from her Mom before she passed away. While I was in the hospital she put that pin on my pillow along with a piece of paper that was folded up and I've kept that with me ever since." He explained

"May I see it?" Fran asked as she reached for the frame that Penelope held out to her. Fran began to smile as she read the writing.

"What does it say Mom, read it aloud." Sarah said.

Each night I thank them all

A prayer or two I say

I ask for your protection

And send the Angels on their way

You cannot see or feel them

But they aren't very far

They watch you and protect you

No matter where you are

They watch you when you're sleeping

Ensuring the sweetest of dreams

They watch you when you're playing

Unconditionally it seems

I only ask of you

This teeny tiny thing

Blind faith is a must

To keep your Angel and her Wings

Her protection is solely yours

She's dedicated you see

She gives this unconditionally

She does this just for me

So when you're feeling needy

Alone, in a mood, or scared

Just turn to your Guardian Angel

With you, she'll always be shared

"Where did you find that, it's beautiful." Sarah said.

Penelope looked towards Derek and responded to Sarah "I wrote it when Derek was in the hospital."

Derek knelt down in front of Penelope and grabbed her hands in his and brought them to his lips for a gentle kiss. "Baby, I've been wanting to say this to you for a long time but I've held back because the time just wasn't right. I needed to get some things right inside of me before I offered any part of myself to you." He said

They all sat in silence and disbelief as Derek opened up his heart. They all knew it was long overdue but had started to believe that this moment would never come. Nobody was more surprised than Penelope. She had rehearsed this scene in her head over and over never once believing that it might really happen. None of them was prepared for what would happen next…..

"Baby, I know there's a natural progression to this and an order of how things go, but I believe you and I have passed that threshold. We've never dated but we haven't spent one day apart from each other in well over a year unless I was away with the team. We have gone to every social event together and have come home together. We lived together for most of the year and for the months we haven't, I can't count the times I've wanted to ask you to stay. Baby, I'm in love with you and have been for the longest time. You asked me once to look into your eyes and see myself as you saw me, tonight I'm asking that you look into mine and see how deep my love is for you, to feel how engrained you are in my heart and in my soul." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny velvet box, he opened it before her and all that could be heard was gasps.

Penelope took in a deep breath. She raised her hands and covered her mouth. Tears began to spill from her eyes. In the box was the most beautiful diamond ring she'd ever seen.

"Baby, will you marry me? Will you give me the one thing I want more than anything in this world." He asked.

"Yes." She said and then repeated it over and over as she nodded her head. Derek placed the ring on her finger and quickly jumped up and grabbed her, raising her to her feet and quickly wrapping his arms around her. Fran and her daughters surrounded them to congratulate them and the commotion of the house got Clooney barking.

They finally got back to their dinner and spent most of it making plans for a wedding. When the evening ended and Fran and the girls retired to their rooms Derek walked up to Penelope and stood behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. She was standing there holding the frame he had given her and smiling.

"I say we put it on the mantle, this way she can watch over both of us." He said.

Penelope nodded and put the frame down, she turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you." She said.

He looked deep into her eyes and pulled her close to him and said "I love you too" and then leaned into her and kissed his bride to be.


End file.
